Ayeman Toofaan - In conversation with

A dinnae get it, ya’ani. So yer tellin me that every year, roon aboot the same time, this river floods aw the road an shops an hooses. It even gans up the vennel a bit.

An this happens every year? See back in Idlib where am fae originally, we have this kinna hing aw sorted oot.

Yiv got a river here that floods like clockwork, ya’ani. That’s cus the water comes ower the wa. Dae the folk in charge - who is in charge? Dae the folk in charge nae unerstaun that, ken?

The best way tae sort it oot is tae stop the water comin ower the wa. That means ye need a bigger wa, yin o them levies like in America or Holland. See that’s what folk that get flooding dae.

Ma cousin back in Idlib’s a civil engineer, he’d have this sorted oot by the end o September. Are ye needin his number?

Aw wait a minute … wait a minute, is this yin o they hidden camera shows where ye take the piss? Where is it, where’s the camera?

It’s no a joke! Yer serious? Hawd oan a wee minute here’s ma cousin’s number.