Sad news
- 09 Feb, 2023
- A.Y. Watt
- From Our Doric Correspondent
Ave affa sad news the day. So I’ll keep it short as am nae masel.
Ma miniature Speyside Collie, Harrison Ford II, has passed on tae the muckle dog park abeen. Dinna get me wrang, he’d a rare life dingin aboot the cliffs and the fairy dell, nabbin golf baws aff the links for me. He wis nearly 15 so his time was nigh, but it’s still nae easy tae tak him doon the vets and say right, finish him aff. But his beans were a cancerous and he’d nae pleasure left gon oot.
It’s for the best of course and it’ll hopefully end my long running legal case wi MGM studios. Fit a saga that’s been. Back when he was born, he wis featured in the Press & Journal for winning the finest puppy competition at the Turrif show. This journalist wis affa taen with the fact a’d named this pup, Harrison Ford. See at that time I was a right fan o the Star Wars Holiday Special and the Witness. Anyone actor wi that kinda range deserves our adulation. So I named my pup aifter Mr Ford, thinking it was an homage. Well Christ, the following week aifter the story was in the Press & Journal, I gets a cease and desist letter fae MGM studios tellin me tae nae be so daft and rename ma dug. So ah did; tae Harrison Ford II.
That wy they hid nothin oan me. They couldnae pin a lawsuit on me. Mind you it wisnae fir want a tryin. They sent some hot shot lawyer over fae Los Angeles, just like in Local Hero. One time when Mr Ford himsel was filming in Yorkshire, he got rentit aen o thay wee helicopters and flew a the wy up here tae Portknockie and was chappin on ma door fur an oor. I mean what a bastard! Luckily a wis ower in fitehills seein oor Malcolm so the situation was naturally diffused as he had tae get the chopper back that night. He wis lucky that group o loons that gan aboot on their BMXs and Grifters didnae spy him. They’d a hud his guts fir garters.
Onywys, this is nae aboot him. An I’ll probably get into hot water again fir telling the tale an breaking the terms o the non-disclosure agreement. But I just wanted tae let all ma readers ken aboot wee Ford II’s passin.
God Bless and I’ll see yis aw next week fan am a wee bit better.