Beware of cynicism dressed up as wisdom

Type something to search...

Business coaching

A’ve hud tae pit the observational standup idea oan the backburner for the noo as nane o the trawler boys could agree on whit tae pit in the softies and fa wis gonna pay fir the petrol. But something else has come up. I’ve started as a business coach at the Portknockie community centre.

The ideas are flowing since ave no had to spend ma mornings pickin up Harrison Ford II’s doings aff the pavement.

One quine comes up tae me an say’s, “So I’ve finished ma correspondence MBA fae Penn State and am ready tae go it alone in the world o business, but I’ve nae idea fit kinda business tae set up.” ‘Well see that checks oot, cos an MBA course is generally where y’ll find yer average entrepreneur that hasnae an idea atween thir lugs. So a decided tae divulge a rare oppertunity that I’ve been thinking long and hard a boot and that involves all youse Doonhamers.

So ah tells her aboot how yis have nuthin proper for breakfast doon here and there are folk that eat scones fir breakfast in cafes in Dumfries. She thought ah wis huvvin her oan so ah phoned ma Doonhamer cousin and did some lean customer surveys ower the phone.

She couldnae believe that there’s a place where the folk dinnae hae proper softies and buttries. And that’s how I convinced her tae start a buttries and softies export business targetted specifically at Doonhamers with a phase 2 plan to expand in tae the wider Dumfries and Galloway market.

Of course after the initial flush o excitement doubts started tae set in and she was worried aboot how tae take on the cartels of Big Scone and the organised tray bake syndicates. Understandable as they’ve most folk in Dumfries convinced that scones are an essential food group of their ain. But we’re working on that.

So dinnae fret Doonhamers, y’s’ll soon hae proper breakfast food tae go wi yer cuppa tea in the morning. Ah might even visit a bit mair often then.

Filed under
Share this on

Related Posts

Differential calculus

Oor Zander's back fae uni this week and his mither's aside hersel. Y'd think Dundee wis oan the sooth coast and ye needed a passport tae get there. Onywy am affa made up masel if am honest. It's his...

read more

Sad news

Ave affa sad news the day. So I'll keep it short as am nae masel. Ma miniature Speyside Collie, Harrison Ford II, has passed on tae the muckle dog park abeen. Dinna get me wrang, he'd a rare life...

read more

The flanêur

So a bump't in tae this fella doon the harbor an a strikes up a wee conversation cus am aywis on the look out fur a story. An we're gabbain awa an a asks him, "Fit d'y'dae?" An he says, "Am a...

read more

Dinnae skip the sunscreen

Skipping man, O skipping man Do you know you have a fan? Please don’t be so hard on yourself And cover your arms, or you’ll get more than a tan. Basal cell carcinoma, or mibbe a wee melanoma. Skin...

read more

BBC journalist hospitalised

An unnamed BBC journalist (Barney Toner) was found exhausted, pacing around Cresswell repeating the phrase, "You don’t expect it to happen in a place like this. He was a quiet man, kept himself to...

read more

Dubai chocolate basque cheesecake debacle.

Awwwwwww nawwwwwwwwww. I’ve hud tae flit again. All I did wis post a photo of my Dubai chocolate basque cheesecake next to a letter with my address on it!

read more

Damn you Val, give up this feud!.

Awwwwwww nawwwwwwwwww. I’ve hud tae flit again. All I did wis post a reel saying that I’m really looking forward tae the match between Raith Rovers and Queen of the South at Palmerston, at 6pm this...

read more

Gies a fiver

-- Bill! Bill! Haud oan a minute. -- Whit? -- Can ye lend me a fiver, pal? -- Naw. Naw a cannae. —- Aww, come oan. I’ll gie yit back the morra. -- It’s not that Gladys. Ah cannae. I've nae money. --...

read more

Shining a light on the big lights switch-on

Awwwwwww nawwwwwwwwww. I’ve hud tae flit again. All I did wis post a TikTok in front of the Mid Steeple at the big Christmas light switch on saying, “I can’t believe I live just opposite here in the...

read more