BREAKING: Roads News

Just in! It took over a week, but the Roads Department of D&G council has finally approved work to begin removing all the new tarmac that was laid during the UCI World Paracycling Championships.

A spokesperson for the department said they were “Sorry for the delay in returning the potholes and patchwork road surfaces to their former state,” and that, “Teams will be working day and night to ensure all potholes are as deep as they we in the past.”

The move comes after local motorists and a national tyre company launched a successful petition to have the potholes restored citing that “Drivers were used to swerving in all the right places and now we look like idiots, swerving for no reason.”

It is hoped that this latest move by the Roads Department will quell the recent spate of motorists taking matters into their own hands. A number of videos have appeared in the past week showing SUV drivers repeatedly driving over repaired potholes trying to dislodge the new surface. This new craze is a variation on the same drivers parking on the pavement so that they crack the paving stones. As one driver who wished to remain anonymous said, “We’re just doing our bit to make life a little more exciting for all these old folk in their mobility scooters.”

More on this as the story develops.