Lateral flow

Archie: Whit’s that y’ve got there, A?

The ither Archie: It’s a box o they lateral flow tests fir the COVID.

Archie: Aw ah thought y’d got me a box o Thorntons fir ma Christmas. Ye’v no got the COVID huv ye?

Ither Archie: Naw, naw. There fir Sheila’s youngest. He’s got tae use them fir some job he’s got on.

Archie: Aw right. How much did that set ye back then?

Ither Archie: Nothing. There free. Ye can get them in the Boots ower by the Burn’s statue. Mind, ye can get them in ony pharmacy a think. But it’s handy fir the bus so ah go tae that yin.

Archie: handy fir a pint at the ‘spoons mair like.

Ither Archie: Aw naw, ave boycotted that place. Ever since that galoot wis gon aon an aon aboot the benefits o the Brexit. Whit a wazock.

Archie: Oh aye, ah forgot. Mind you it’s a better pint at the Cavens onyway.

Ither Archie: Aye, sure. But yer no wrang aboot ma wee guilty pleasure. Ah dae nip in tae Greggs fir a wee steaky bake though.

Archie: Let me see them tests then.

Ither Archie: There ye go.

Archie: There’s seven in here. An ye get them aw fir free, eh?

Ither Archie: Aye.

Archie: It’s a crackin box. This is geing me an idea. A couple o these in the weans’ stockins this Christmas and that’ll be ma Christmas shopping done.

Ither Archie: Och ya cheap bastard!

Archie: Well ye ken whit they say. ‘It’s the thought that counts.’