Health and safety
- 12 Aug, 2024
- The Hamester
- Hame Truths
In a recent session of Full Council chaired by Councillor Max High, Dumfries & Galloway set forward a plan to ban all walking and cycling on safety grounds. A transcript of said meeting follows.
“Friends, Doonhamers, folk frae the hills and god knows who else joining us on Microsoft Teams, a hearty welcome to this monthly meeting of the full Council in which we are gathered here today to address the safety of all our residents while getting around. First of all I’ll hand over to Shirley Kno to take us through Sedurent and apologies, conflicts of interest, standing orders and where to find the wee hand button on Teams.”
After a further 20 minutes of “procedure” the meeting got to the heart of the matter.
“Motion to ban walking. This motion is to ban walking on safety grounds and has been proposed by Councillor Freya Nithertoon. Cllr Nithertoon you have the bridge.”
“Thank you, Cllr High. Through the Chair and behind the sofa, if it pleases ma lud, it’s really dead simple. Well walking aroon, I mean, it’s just not safe really is it? Someone might fall, other people may bump into that person that has already fallen down. And then there’s the flood scheme, don’t get me started on that …”
“I’ll thank you to try to stay on topic Cllr Nithertoon.”
“Sorry, Chair. I rest my case.”
“We’ll now move to a vote unless .. oh, I see there’s a hand up on Zoom. Yes, Archie. No we can’t here you. We can see right up your nose, but you’re going to have toget your grandkids to show you where the unmute button is.”
After a short recess in which Archie got his grandkids out of school to show him the unmute button, Cllr Archie Medes, made his contribution.
“Aye, I just a wee question about the bus stop outside the chippy in Newtown Stewart.”
“That’s item twenty-one on today’s agenda, Cllr Medes. As there are no other relevant contributions, I will move to the vote. Councillors, click on yer wee magic button and we’ll have a look at the scores on the doors.”
“Well that’s very clear. Congratulations to Cllr Nithertoon, the motion has passed unanimously. Well done. We’ll now move on to the next item on the agenda; Low Cost Improvements in Public Health Through Increased Activity…”