Shop guardians

Archie: I wis up the toon wi Sandra the ither day cus oor Gillian’s youngest, the arty farty yin, has stairted selling stuff in wan oh thay new shops in toon.

The ither Archie: Oh aye, yiv got tae go up toon wi the missus noo and again huv ye no.

Archie: Well ah wis going tae show support fir the grandweans.

The ither Archie: Aye, yer a guid man, A.

Archie: Thank you, thank you; I’ll tak that in the spirit it was intended.

The ither Archie: My pleasure.

Archie: Onyways, so oor Gillian’s youngest has started sell her designs in that new shop next tae where Halfords was.

The ither Archie: Oh aye, a mind oan Halfords, that was a crackin wee shop back in the day. Mind it hud a ramp tae get in years before any kinda disability and access legislation.

Archie: Oh aye, a mind oan that aw right. Ah used tae go in there every Saturday morning an gawp at the bikes hung up fae the ceiling. An they had aw those rows and rows a spray can fir dae up yer motor. Champagne gold, burnt orange, calypso azure and vauxhall viva green.

The ither Archie: Aye, course that wis before they invented graffiti so ye could get a wee spray can in a lot a shops an naebody batted an eyelid.

Archie: Aye, different times, A. Different times. But back tae oor Gillian’s youngest. They’re doing a roaring trade. The Flourish they call it. It’s a fine wee shop where folks that make stuff, crafts an aw that ye ken, kin work up the stair make it an then they’ve got a shop doonstairs fur sellin it aw. An their aw workin thegither, like.

The ither Archie: Sounds like the union when you were a fitter at the Woolen Mill.

Archie: Aye, kinna. But no really. But at least there’s a spirit aboot it.

The ither Archie: An whit else is there in this shop?

Archie: aw ah didnae go in. Just stood ootside, ye ken me, am no one fir the shopping like. Hersel went in and said it was guid like. Looks brilliant fae ootside though. Professional an aw that.

The ither Archie: Aye a ken whit ye mean aboot staunin ootside. I reckon I’ve stood ootside mair shops than a’ve actually been in. In aw the years Binns wis here, ah never went in , but ah must a stood ootside at least once a week. Cos it had that crakcin awning tae stand under. I did go in tae Littlewoods, but only upstairs tae the cafe fir a scone, like.

Archie: Oh aye, am with ye there, A. I’d drive up an doon the Sands waiting fir hersel tae feenish the shopping at Crazy Cuts, then when she wis done, I’d go in a wee bit tae help get the messages in the boot an a dae seem tae remember frequenting Menzies most Saturday mornins, but ah never went beyond the newspapers.

The ither Archie: Aye, yiv got tae stand ootside, that how ye get aw the news an keep up wi folk.

Archie: Quite right. Ye see these young fellas going in tae aw the shops noo.

The ither Archie: Aw a ken, an there’s hardly anyone staunin ootside.

Archie: Aye, different times, A., different times. A missin seein folk ootside the shops nhuvin a guid nod at folk. An a tell ye this, there wis nae shoplifting back then, cos we were aw keepin an eye oot.

The ither Archie: Aye, yer probably right. Ah cannae mind on any shopliftin, drugs, murders, burglaries, house fires, car crashes, plane crashes, hijackings, war or anything bad ever happening before I retired.