Uglied up

-: What’s wrang wi your gub?

:- You.

-: Me? How?

:- Yiv uglied up ma kids!

-: Whit?

:- Yiv uglied up ma kids! Look at me, am gorgeous. Like proper gorgeous. Look at the kids. No sae gorgeous. A wee bit ordinary ye might say. That’s you that is. That’s your end o the bargain. You did that tae them. Those peer wee sowels coulda been mair gorgeous than me, but then you turned up, got me pregnant and uglified ma weans. Whit wis a thinkin marryin you.

-: Am no stayin aroon for this. Uglied isnae even a word. Am aff tae take the dug fir a wander.

:- Luv ya babes.

-: Aye, you too a suppose.

:- Get us a Bounty fae the shop will ya.