A new slogan for Dumfries

Around the time of the UCI’s arrival in Dumfries this summer some wag chalked up a slogan at the top of the Whitesands with the phrase “Seagulls make Dumfries”. Presumably this was in reaction to the rather lame appearance of hundreds of pink banners with Glasgow’s city slogan, “People make Glasgow”, on them. These lined the main vantage points of the time trails giving any TV cameras and journalists the impression that they were still in Glasgow where the “main” event was happening. While one of the para-athletes could probably have cycled the 70+ miles to Glasgow in under 2 hours, it was still a bit of a stretch and frankly a slap in the face for Doonhamers and para-athletes alike for the two towns to be temporarily joined in an unholy union.

If you’re wondering what happened to this heinous vandalism, council workers appeared at first shift and no amount of water was spared on removing the atrocity. Many pictures were taken as it was the first time since 19-something-or-other that this much or in fact any water had been expended on stree cleaning.

So it got me thinking, what would be a good modern slogan for the town? Far be it for me to besmirch the venerable “A loreburn”, but perhaps it is time to explore a few alternatives. I’ll set the ball rolling and you dear readers can send your suggestions on a postcard to the PO Box address below.

Dumfries. You’re in it.

Dumfries. You’re still in it.

Dumfries. If you were wondering, yes, you’re still in it. After all why would another town display our slogan? Who would do that? No really, who would?

Dumfries. A river runs through it.

A tin of salmon

Dumfries, it’s braw.

Dumfries, mair churches as folk.

Dumfries, go on, naebody’s lookin.

Barbara Dickson? Naw, is she no fae Dunfermline?

Ncuti Gatwa? Naw, I think he’s fae Dunfermline an aw. Mibbe Dundee? Aye there are a lot o places in Scotland that start wi “Du”.

Dumfries, it’s near other places.

Dumfries, other places are near it.

Dumfries, we have 2 helipads.

Ayr, you’re nearly there.

Dumfries, where folk complain about nature being untidy and in the way.

Dumfries, where you can still access the Matrix from a phone box

Over to you. I know both of The Doonhamer’s readers can do better than these so please send your masterpieces to someone you love. While you’re at it, do send someone a wee postcard or drop them a line. They’ll appreciate it more than you know.