Latest Articles

Bum crack burka bonanza

13 Apr, 2026
The Hamester
Hame Truths

In a surprise move, party of the working man, Reform Ltd (did I get that the right way round?), have put forward a policy that is upsetting practically all of their members except someone called, Clive. As members have no say in how the...

God moves in 126 mysterious ways

According to the recently released Town Board report, when it comes to religion 126% of Doonhamers think something or other. Now that's a very thorough reporting methodology. As The Doonhamer's spirituality correspondent and the main man...

The balance of the sexes

Last Friday's Courier carried a jumbled array of stories in which, like busses, 3 similar stories arrived at the same time. There was a regenration plan from the Dumfries Town Board, a city of culture poprosal from DPAG and another "let's...

Read to the end, there is a joke. Promise

28 Mar, 2026
Chegwin Bronsmore
Potholes Are Just Friends You Haven't Met Yet

So I was on the 501 from Castle Douglas to Dumfries on Saturday, a pleasant enough trip with what felt like an unnecessary deviation via Dalbeattie. Is there ever a good reason to go to Dalbeattie? Anyway, I digress. The bus was quite busy...

People change their mind. Do they though?

Holding on to ideas and beliefs without examination and the willingness to change them is a rigidity that doesn't serve you well. One of the biggest societal changes that we've all experienced in recent years is the willingness for people...

Cynic or sage? Battery factory is good news

Will the new Dumfries battery factory unleash the usual cynicism? Or are you ready to acknowledge good news? The motto of this newspaper is “Beware of cynicism dressed up as wisdom.” It’s a botched version of something said more eloquently...

Ahoy there Orbán

Six weeks after a short parade of world leaders clung to Trump’s hand desperately trying to get their money’s worth at the ratification of the Board of Peace, six of those members - seven if you include the US - were involved in a shooting...

Improvements or paying for the damage done.

Hold on to your hats Doonhamers, the High Street and Queensberry Square are about to get some TLC from the Council. The Council announced the improvements with quotes from Andy Fergusson and Tony Berretti from the Economy and...

Do flood defences go far enough?

Has Sandside been left behind by the flood defence scheme? The D&G Council has published a new website with details of how the flood defence scheme will pan out over the next 3 years, subtle signs that work is underway on the Greensands...

New time check service

09 Mar, 2026
Harry Lodge
Hear Me Oot

Ever since the great chippy disaster of 2032 when the Midsteeple slid down over the plainstanes, leaving some less than plain stains, and crashing into New Look with disastrous consequences, Doonhamers have been struggling to know the...

You can't make it up ...

My colleague, A.Y.Watt has been writing about the Doric Technology Institute and one of his reports covered a nosey version of the Ring doorbell.nosey version of the Ring doorbell that kent abody's business. Now just a few month after it...

We don't use our democracy

We think we use our democracy, but we don’t. We talk about protecting democracy, but we talk about democracy like it's a listed building nobody has a plan for. We don’t compromise any more. We just go for the win. We don't even seem to...

Who's a Bad Bunny, eh?

American libertarians, free speech absolutists, blood and soils nationalists and everyday racists are spitting into their apple pies because their Superbowl handball half-time show featured a guy singing in Spanish. They were not up for...

Does anyone still wear a hat!?

09 Feb, 2026
The Hamester
Hame Truths

Noo that everyone and their strife is wearing wee docker caps again like it's 1982, I thought I'd break out some fashion tips from my stale old jar of things bygone. Right so here's the way things seem to be at the moment. The crusties are...

Imagine if dictators backed down?

Living in a state of paranoia of your own making must be hell. It’s particularly ironic as it seems that personal freedom eventually is directly disproportionate to power. Saddam, Qaddafi, Ceaușescu all knew this. The chart very swiftly...