Latest Articles
Aff ma heid wi the Fun Lovin' Criminals
- 18 Jul, 2023
- The Hamester
- Hame Truths
WARNING: Definitely contains profanity. May contain a few nuts. Excessive use of jam. In advance of the Fun Lovin’ Criminals headline appearance at the Doonhame festival this weekend, Scone Watch once again was able to add an international...
Dinnae skip the sunscreen
- 07 Jul, 2023
- The Hamester
- Misconnections
Skipping man, O skipping man Do you know you have a fan? Please don’t be so hard on yourself And cover your arms, or you’ll get more than a tan. Basal cell carcinoma, or mibbe a wee melanoma. Skin care tips aren't just for foreign...
Shop guardians
- 21 Mar, 2023
- The Archies
- Life According to Archies
Archie: I wis up the toon wi Sandra the ither day cus oor Gillian's youngest, the arty farty yin, has stairted selling stuff in wan oh thay new shops in toon. The ither Archie: Oh aye, yiv got tae go up toon wi the missus noo and again huv...
Keepin it weird
- 21 Mar, 2023
- Loose Bae
- Misconnections
I saw you on the Sands; our eyes connected. You in your purple and aqua tracksuit break-dancing for Jesus, me heading to Crazy Cuts to post something for eBay - BTW why is there no proper post office in Dumfries town centre. I was pleased...
The flanêur
- 19 Mar, 2023
- A.Y. Watt
- From Our Doric Correspondent
So a bump't in tae this fella doon the harbor an a strikes up a wee conversation cus am aywis on the look out fur a story. An we're gabbain awa an a asks him, "Fit d'y'dae?" An he says, "Am a flaneur. A flan aboot." A fit? I asks him? A...
Business coaching
- 17 Mar, 2023
- A.Y. Watt
- From Our Doric Correspondent
A've hud tae pit the observational standup idea oan the backburner for the noo as nane o the trawler boys could agree on whit tae pit in the softies and fa wis gonna pay fir the petrol. But something else has come up. I've started as a...
Differential calculus
- 16 Mar, 2023
- A.Y. Watt
- From Our Doric Correspondent
Oor Zander's back fae uni this week and his mither's aside hersel. Y'd think Dundee wis oan the sooth coast and ye needed a passport tae get there. Onywy am affa made up masel if am honest. It's his first year and it's been an affa...
Sad news
- 09 Feb, 2023
- A.Y. Watt
- From Our Doric Correspondent
Ave affa sad news the day. So I'll keep it short as am nae masel. Ma miniature Speyside Collie, Harrison Ford II, has passed on tae the muckle dog park abeen. Dinna get me wrang, he'd a rare life dingin aboot the cliffs and the fairy dell,...