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Gies a fiver

-- Bill! Bill! Haud oan a minute. -- Whit? -- Can ye lend me a fiver, pal? -- Naw. Naw a cannae. —- Aww, come oan. I’ll gie yit back the morra. -- It’s not that Gladys. Ah cannae. I've nae money. --...

Damn you Val, give up this feud!.

Awwwwwww nawwwwwwwwww. I’ve hud tae flit again. All I did wis post a reel saying that I’m really looking forward tae the match between Raith Rovers and Queen of the South at Palmerston, at 6pm this...

How old is old enough to let go?

It’s a curious thing. We hold on to any building from the Victorian or Georgian era as if it were a precious newborn. Yet the Victorians themselves voraciously demolished buildings and monuments to...

Columbus and the journey to opposite land.

It was Columbus day across the pond a couple of weeks ago. In recent years there have been moves to celebrate the indigenous people of the US alongside or in place of famous immigrant, Christopher...

Dubai chocolate basque cheesecake debacle.

Awwwwwww nawwwwwwwwww. I’ve hud tae flit again. All I did wis post a photo of my Dubai chocolate basque cheesecake next to a letter with my address on it!

How's your muffin buttered?

~ Hello Hamester, do come in. What embarrassing ailments are we looking at today? ~ Well doctor, it's my .. ~ Just a minute. I need you to sit over there on the chaise longue. ~ Over there? ~ Yup....

You've Got A Friend Indeed

There’s been quite the debacle across the pond in old New York. The owners of a product called, Friend, began an advertising campaign on the New York subway promoting an AI enabled pendant which you...

BBC journalist hospitalised

13 Oct, 2025
The Hamester
Hame Truths

An unnamed BBC journalist (Barney Toner) was found exhausted, pacing around Cresswell repeating the phrase, "You don’t expect it to happen in a place like this. He was a quiet man, kept himself to...

Christmas Appeal 2025

01 Oct, 2025
The Hamester
Hame Truths

We've aw seen it an look't awa; airtists that hing their works aw skewwhiff. It's a miserable sicht. At this time of year, please spare a thought fir aw they angularlly challenged paintings o birdies...

Ode tae cycling on the low road

11 Aug, 2025
Chegwin Bronsmore
Potholes Are Just Friends You Haven't Met Yet

The braes aroon Shambellie are Sae steep they mak ye cower But I'd rather hae a heart attack Than some daft lad run me ower On the A710.

Don't skip the sunscreen

19 Sep, 2024
Heath Hall
Misconnections

Skipping Man, O Skipping Man Do you know you have a fan? Please don’t be so hard on yourself And cover your arms, or you’ll get more than a tan. Basal cell carcinoma, Or mibbe a wee melanoma. Skin...

Over regular

30 Aug, 2024
The Hamester
Rattle Bag

You sell bags. I bought one from you. Now you email me every two weeks. About bags. I've got one. You sold it to me. Seriously. You know that. If anyone knows about the bags I have, it's you.

Remembering, 'Straight Ootta Beeswing'

29 Aug, 2024
The Hamester
Hame Truths

This month marks the 35th anniversary of the release of cult Gallovidian album, 'Straight Ootta Beeswing'. The breakthrough album was the first of many that brought Galwegian crooning to the...

Health and safety

12 Aug, 2024
The Hamester
Hame Truths

In a recent session of Full Council chaired by Councillor Max High, Dumfries & Galloway set forward a plan to ban all walking and cycling on safety grounds. A transcript of said meeting...

Bored of the Board already

For heavens' sakes. I had high hopes for this Town Board and already they're faltering at one of the easiest jobs in town. Resignations over governance have taken place - code for in-fighting. I...