Beware of cynicism dressed up as wisdom

Vol. III · Est. 2023 · Price: 5½p where sold

Type a word an we'll rake through the archives.
Rattle Bag

The die is cast on the game board

By The Hamester·DUMFRIES, 18th March 2024


Well that’s it. The die has been cast. Public nominations for the Chair of the new Dumfries Town Board closed at 5pm yesterday and the full council will ruminate over who shall be appointed, making their final decision known on February 27th.

This new position will then be responsible for forming a board obliged to meet by April 1 and then submit a plan by August 1 that determines how the capital investments of £2 million per annum for 10 years (if it keeps coming …) should be made in Dumfries. Good luck to them. It’s a tall order to cohere a group of people who won’t have worked together into getting a costed plan together by August.

Bye bye curmudgeons

I’m not excited about the money. Greater sums are needed and are available for the right kind of initiatives. But I do see an opportunity here to break a mould and do something new. In choosing this new chairperson and to a certain degree thereby influencing the direction of the rest of the board, I do hope that the entire Council will be bold. I do hope they will give new faces and fresh blood a shot at this, rather than the bilious gaggle of gossipy curmudgeons that spew negativity on everything, quick to anger rather than looking for solutions through cooperation. Down with the usual suspects who have no sense of when it’s time to stand aside.

I suggest the board adopt a motto from the words of Shakespeare.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none

It’s a 400 year old idea that still seems to leave us struggling.

Who’s not in the runnning?

FFS Heathhall and Locharbriggs, youse should be raging. Get yersels recognised as part of Dumfries once and for all. Dae yis seriously no think yer Doonhamers?

Take courage

Anyway I’ll leave y’all with the words of Raymond Williams to wish the Council well in their decision making.

To be truly radical is to make hope possible, rather than despair convincing.

But as always, remember, hope is not a strategy.


Filed under
Send this cutting via

Elsewhere in The Doonhamer

Hustlers and fiddlers

Reading the dictionary the other day - as you do - I came across a phrase that was new to me. "Bunnet Hustler" According to the Collins Dictionary, and I'm simplifying here ... a Bunnet Hustler is a middle class person that regularly...

Over regular

You sell bags. I bought one from you. Now you email me every two weeks. About bags. I've got one. You sold it to me. Seriously. You know that. If anyone knows about the bags I have, it's you.

Path, interrupted

I wish this one was a joke. In their haste to add more EV chargers in Brooms Road car park, ChargePlace Scotland has obliterated what was a safe, accessible, walking and wheeling route through the car park. For many people it's a...

Ode to a pharmacy vending machine

I tapped in the numbers, Eight digits I recall, You dispensed my prescription, Free healthcare for all, At the point of delivery. It avoids so much misery. Don't take it for granted.

Vlad's two hour Town Hall

Yes, yes. Hello lovely Doonhamers. It's your old pal Vlad. And I know I have a lot of fans here, because I am reading your Facebook. So where have you all come from tonight? Anyone in from Dumfries? Ha ha, yes of course. Look, we need to...

A new slogan for Dumfries

Around the time of the UCI's arrival in Dumfries this summer some wag chalked up a slogan at the top of the Whitesands with the phrase "Seagulls make Dumfries". Presumably this was in reaction to the rather lame appearance of hundreds of...

Another day, another cannabis farm

Another cannabis farm worth about £1 million was found by police in Dumfries making this about the 3rd or 4th in as many years. This time the stash was on the Vennel and it's clear now that doing up abandoned buildings is a growth...

Bored of the Board already

For heavens' sakes. I had high hopes for this Town Board and already they're faltering at one of the easiest jobs in town. Resignations over governance have taken place - code for in-fighting. I remain optimistic and hope they can sort...

Whitesands to Become a Normal Place

Yesterday afternoon the flood defence scheme was approved during a full meeting of the Council in which 23 councillors voted for the project while 19 voted against it. There are important lessons to be learned from this decade long saga,...

God moves in 126 mysterious ways

According to the recently released Town Board report, when it comes to religion 126% of Doonhamers think something or other. Now that's a very thorough reporting methodology. As The Doonhamer's spirituality correspondent and the main man...

Health and safety

In a recent session of Full Council chaired by Councillor Max High, Dumfries & Galloway set forward a plan to ban all walking and cycling on safety grounds. A transcript of said meeting follows. "Friends, Doonhamers, folk frae the hills...

How come we've no got a town machar?

There’s a national one, some toons have one. So how come the toon that’s internationally kent for it’s renowned poet, Robert Burns doesnae have a machar? I’m sure it must have occurred to someone with the power to sanction such a thing at...

Be careful of myths you hold dear

Reform UK has won its first Council seat election in Scotland. I'm grateful that it wasn't here in D&G, though we came pretty close a few weeks ago in the Stranraer & Rhins by-election. It was bound to happen sooner or later. There has...

New flood protection scheme announced

Keen-eyed readers may have noticed the yellow road closure signs that appeared this morning on the Whitesands and, rather curiously, extend into Dock Park. After a quick call to the Roads Department I can now bring you the news that the...